One evening last spring, I stopped at my hairdresser’s to get a quick blowout before a gathering. Four hours later, I left with my hood pulled up tight over my head to hide the fact that I was walking out with no hair whatsoever.
I actually have alopecia, the fancy medical term for whenever your defense mechanisms attacks your own hair follicles for no reason at all, causing Real Hair Toppers, and I’ve worn a wig since my hair started being released in clumps over seven years ago. I’d gone to my hairdresser (who also ordered and designed my wigs) for countless problem-free blowouts over the years. He and his awesome partner, who was usually the one in the salon that night, committed to women with hairloss.
That night, rather than blowout, my wig got destroyed. The hairdresser washed my hair wrong – you can’t scrunch up hair on a wig how you can natural hair – and it ended up being within a gigantic knot. Every one of the leave-in conditioner worldwide and hours with a comb couldn’t help him detangle it.
My hairdresser was distraught because i left the salon completely hairless and called me the next day crying about how much it had upset him to discover me that way. I used to be mostly indignant. Just how much it had upset him? Have you considered me, the girl who was required to hail a cab from the rain while clutching frantically at the sides of her hood, lest it slip off? Yes, you will find women available who go out bald, and search fabulously fierce while doing this, however i am not one of those particular women. Having hair, even if it’s not growing out from my head, is the thing that gives me the confidence to feel better about myself. He swore in my opinion which he would make it for me, which he would get me two new hairpieces at the earliest opportunity.
Thankfully, I had a well used wig in your own home in decent condition which i surely could wear for which I thought will be a month or so. But weeks changed into per month, which transformed into two months. I might call and text my hairstylist every week, reminding him again and again which i experienced a big summer vacation coming and that I wanted to feel great while taking photos. He swore all around that it was coming. Then, 2 weeks before my trip, he informed me it was in.
The wig was all wrong. The color wasn’t right. The feel felt rough, not sleek. It had bangs, that i had expressly said I didn’t want. He swore he’d repair it. I came back a few days later, and through fixing the color, texture, and bangs, he’d broken the fit, and also the wig no more fit my head properly. He promised he’d drop everything so it will be ready for my trip.
The night time before I left for my vacation, I headed towards the salon to get it after work. When I got out from the subway, I had a voicemail from his partner saying it wasn’t ready yet. I immediately called him back.
You know those crazy people you can see screaming and cursing within their phones around the street, and also you wonder why on the planet they’re having this sort of emotionally charged conversation in the middle of the sidewalk? That was me. I was apoplectic. I trusted these with precisely what is, essentially, a huge element of my identity being a woman, and I felt like these people were treating me without respect. They’d charged me $4,000 for that original wig they’d ruined – not really chump change. The hairdresser finally dropped it off at my apartment at close to midnight. I took it from him without having a word during my lobby and closed the door in their face.
I apologized later for your way I spoke to him, however i didn’t, and don’t, apologize for my feelings. We ascribe a tremendous part of our self-worth to the hair. I don’t think this really is a very bad thing by any means, however it does suggest that when something happens to it, our emotions run pretty high. Consider how upset you sense following a bad haircut. Now imagine paying lots of money for the haircut, after which being tied to it for several years.
The brand new wig was sufficient, nevertheless it wasn’t great. It didn’t fit right. The cut still looked off. The very best really was bulky with the extra hair he’d put into “fix” the bangs, so that it didn’t sit flat on my small head, nor did it use a natural-looking part. He hadn’t cut in almost any baby hairs with the hairline, leaving it harsh. It looked just like a wig, which didn’t compensate for the $4,000 cost or even the emotional cost.
The truth that I wear a wig isn’t a secret, but even so, you don’t would like to imagine every stranger about the street takes a second take a look at hairline. I’ve been self-aware of Real Hair Toppers at the back of my thoughts since i have started wearing wigs, but the very first time, I found myself actively, consciously worrying about my appearance every day, a truth made even harder which i couldn’t really talk with anyone about it. I have got wonderful friends which will always listen compassionately, but sometimes you simply need somebody to understand just what you’re going through. Everyone’s had her heart broken. Not everyone has been scared a strong gust of wind could unseat her hair.
Once I came returning to work after my trip and told Cosmopolitan.com beauty editor Carly Cardellino what had happened, she caused it to be her pursuit to aid me find a new, incredible hairdresser. Enter stylist Ursula Stephen, my honest-to-god new fairy godmother. At my consultation, she showed me everything wrong using that wig that we hadn’t even realized – such as that every one of the care instructions I’d been given were wrong – including the truth that I’d been overcharged for those four in the $4,000 wigs I’d bought previously. It was the most shocking in my opinion: I’d never shopped around for any stylist, since in the past he’d got me to such great pieces and treated me very well, and I’d believed, if something, he was giving us a deal on quality hair. Learning otherwise was one more letdown.
Ursula promised she’d find the right hair for me personally, and that i trusted her. This is actually the woman who had been so focused on getting Rihanna’s look right she once heated up a curling iron in an actual fireplace as soon as the plug converters weren’t working directly in another country. If you’re gonna trust anyone with something big, it’s her.
Ursula came through so hard that at this stage, I would trust her with my entire life. My new wig sits perfectly flat on my head and even includes a real hairline. I will straighten it, I could curl it, I will jump in a lake with it. I’m not alert to it being there, just like the way was when my hair actually grew. When you met me right now dexnpky97 hadn’t look at this essay, you wouldn’t actually have a clue it’s not my own, personal hair.
Not contemplating my hair all the time has given me back the confidence I didn’t realize I had been missing – when I try looking in the mirror, I feel good about a person looking back at me. I’ve been worrying constantly about my appearance since i have first watched Wiglets slide down the sink in clumps each time I took a shower those years back. The first time in a long time, I think that me.